WHAT IS SIMINALISM?
HOW CAN I ENTER THE ACADEMY?

Siminalism can take a variety of forms. Often moderate but innovative use of skins and objects can achieve maximum impact. Siminalists delight in multiple use of objects in humorous, odd, or menacing ways, or bizarre deployment of common Sims items or routine Sim actions and reconstruction in new contexts. Spare prose is preferred, but more luxurious comic book text is welcome if it buoys the simple objects and surroundings with human poignancy.

Valiant progression of the narrative despite rigid game-play exigencies are most valued. Oblique references to popular culture, puns, Tom Swifties, etc. are encouarged. A seminal but often inaccessible example of Siminalism is the Simtanic by cafitz1 which sunk off her inadequate Windows NT leaving only jpegs poorly ul'd to Geocities. But basically, Siminalism is about your own spare, raw, confrontation with the Minimal, or as we call it, the Siminal. Berber carpets; sturdy cots; beater cars...these are the inanimate objects that animate our Sims world. How can I enter the Academy you ask? All you need is a pink lawn flamingo, a cup of joe, a violent need to pee, and a dream. The Sims is a Story Game! Take Pictures!

You know, sometimes, as our mothers taught us, if you can't say anything nice, it's better not to say anything at all. But you and we all know that there are 28,000 stories in this teeming Sim City called thesims.com and very few are classified or accessible. To be sure, some are featured once a week on the site; some win prizes for best phat lawn furniture at a party and that sort of thing; some happen to be alphabetically close to the top of the list so you see them a lot or something. Somebody...angry dwarves? underage immigrant children in a sweatshop?...is going through each of HUNDREDS of these stories filed daily and classifying them in the top 100 "Comedy" or "Tragedy." Yet..so many of the families have NO ALBUM AT ALL or just a lot of burglar stalker camera shots. AND IT NEVER OCCURRED TO MAXIS THAT THEY COULD HAVE EASILY CREATED A FORM WITH A CHECK-OFF RIGHT IN THE TELEPORTATION CENTER INDICATING WHETHER OR NOT THERE ARE ALBUM PICTURES, AND HOW MANY! Well, live and learn. That's why WE had to come along and begin to insist on Quality.

SO SHUT UP ALREADY AND TELL ME HOW TO GET IN THE ACADEMY DAMMIT! (KEEP SCROLLING!)

Here we might describe this picture.

SIMINALISM IS A STATE OF MIND,
A TYPE OF SENSIBILITY,
AND A MODE OF NARRATION...

Where's the Sim pepper?

ACADEMY KOAN: Sims can chop peppers on a board or in the food processor, but they never seem to be able to leave a whole one on the table or take a whole one out of the refrigerator.

ACADEMY KOAN: Ever notice that your Sims never, never, never take off their glasses? Even when they are sleeping?

Why is that?

ACADEMY QUERY: How many bouquest of flowers will your beloved bring you? One? Three? Nothing but chocolates? Have you ever tried fighting with your beloved, and then making up with him or her, and then inviting them over again afterwards to see if you can induce them to bring you MORE flowers? What if you have a whole houseful of Sims, each with lovers bringing them flowers? Do you think you could collect 20? 50? Write us when you have the answers: siminalist@yahoo.com

Here we might describe this picture.